Jan 10, 2011

California Dreamin'

I  never thought I'd say this.  But it's just possibly true that a person can reach their saturation point with open air, beautiful scenery and tranquility.  I'll probably read these words at some future point and think I had to be crazy.   But I'm ready for another dose of northern California.  Eight months of Boquete has done me in. 

It probably doesn't help that the wind is blowing like crazy right now, and a plastic chair just flew off my back deck and crashed into the cyclone fence,-- or that the driving rain is soaking my concrete walls.   But even if that weren't the case (it wasn't an hour ago...) I am still ready to head home for awhile.   I am [briefly] missing a lot of things.   As I wrote in an email to an internet friend earlier today: 

Miss my son, miss the California "let it all hang out" attitude, miss being able to find anything I could possibly want within a mile radius, miss Borders bookstores, street musicians, See's candy, light rail trains, and being able to argue political views in a friendly manner, without recrimination or resentment,  with whoever happens to share whatever public space with me.   There's no place like the San Francisco Bay Area.  It's crowded, congested, full of cement and questionable sorts, but it's stimulating and thought provoking at all times.  Not repressive, the way I've found socializing in  Boquete to be.  Sometimes [expat] Boquete reminds me of the Stepford Wives for both sexes.  I need to go back---even if it's only for a few months.  I do like being here, but I now know I'll never survive it 12 months a year. 
I like being in Boquete, but this year the weather "sucked" to use California vernacular.  It is improving, but the summer still isn't completely here. 

I don't enjoy the expat social scene, and unfortunately opportunities to meet local Panamanians socially just haven't presented themselves.  I'm probably going through what a lot of hispanic expats face in the states.  Hard to break into established social groups as an immigrant.  If I could dedicate more time in the Spanish-speaking community,  it would probably get easier.   But telecommuting to work 40 hrs/week curbs this somewhat.  

I think I just need a short dose of San Francisco, and then I'll be ready to return.